This is an article I wrote for The Pitch, Kansas City’s renowned alternative publication. You can read the full article here.
It’s hard to erase a person—especially one who shines as permanently as Melinda Ryder. Thanks to the mass erasure of queer existence in our nation’s history, queer stories often find themselves in the underbelly of our country’s historical documentation. The Museum of Kansas City took notice and is doing its part to ensure that the significance of the queer community remains prominent in the metro.
As I walked into the museum for the opening of local drag queen Melinda Ryder’s exhibit at The Museum of Kansas City, titled Arrive As A Star. Leave As A Star, I felt excitement in the air. Walking down the stairs to the exhibit, camera flashes were bouncing off the walls and an explosive chatter filled the room around me. It was then that I saw the stunning, elegant red-headed woman greeting everyone who entered, not only with a hug and a hello but with a photo as well—a professional photographer and all.
It was clear that when this woman entered a room, all eyes were on her. She commanded the confines. As cameramen and videographers wove through the crowd, I realized this was more than an exhibition opening. This was the celebration of someone’s life’s work, while they were still standing in the room. It makes you think, Who is this, and what’s her story?
The lady of the hour, Melinda Ryder, made her way to a podium and addressed the crowd. “Thank you for coming! I got married here, you know,” she says. “This is just so full circle.”
The exhibit comprises a collection of costumes, images, and memorabilia that showcases the legendary career of Bruce Winter, who has performed for 50 years in Kansas City as the iconic Melinda Ryder.
This local legend has served the metro with a sickening mug since moving to Kansas City from St. Louis in 1975. After becoming an instant star in the KC drag scene, Winter has gone on to win multiple national drag pageantry titles, begin filming a documentary about his life, and meet his husband Kirk.
As videographers and photographers continued to document the event, it became clear that this team was working with John McCrite—the producer and director of Winter’s documentary.
He has been enamored by Winter for a long time. “I went to see Melinda at Hamburger Mary’s… She acted like she was a TV star. When she walked in, she walked in with sunglasses on. Her husband, Kirk, had a bag and was following her into her performances. I was like, ‘Wow, she’s a star on and off the stage.’ She was dressed up when she walked in, and then came in a different outfit, then changed again during the break.”
McCrite has worked on a multitude of films, most recently 2024’s Pink Belt—a documentary that follows the story of Aparna Rajawat, India’s sixteen-time national champion in martial arts, and her mission to make India a safer place for women. After finishing the film, McCrite was looking to pivot. Then, he got a call.
“My best friend’s daughter called me up and said, ‘You’re not going to believe who I work with.’ It was Melinda Ryder. She said, ‘I went into the kitchen, and I saw Melinda’s picture all over the refrigerator, and then I met Bruce.’ I fanboyed out—‘Is Melinda Ryder still performing shows?’ She has really seen everything in the modern gay movement in their lifetime; She was there when drag was illegal, there when the AIDS epidemic happened, but also able to get married legally to the person they loved.”
Our society has missed out on the presence of tons of wonderful queer folk that were victims of HIV and AIDS. To this day, it is still unfortunately rare to meet somebody with this much queer performing experience under their belt and is still here to tell the story and influence on such a scale.
Since pushing to turn talks of a documentary into a reality, McCrite has been following Winter’s life and has been actively documenting him since 2022. Something McCrite realized is that the identity of Melinda Ryder is now a collaborative project, coming to fruition by the efforts of not only Bruce Winter, but his husband Kirk Nelson as well.
“Kirk was the one that kind of looks like his manager, his makeup artist, his costume designer, and runs the show—He is the Wizard of Oz behind the scenes,” McCrite says.
After being Winter’s partner for over 40 years, their dynamic changed once Winter suffered from cancer multiple times, as well as undergoing rounds of stem cell transplants. So, Nelson stepped up to the plate to allow Winter to continue his passion as a performer.
“For many years, I did all my own stuff. But then, when I beat cancer three times… Kirk said ‘I need to start doing your beat.’ I do makeup that looks good enough, but he does makeup that looks beautiful. He just said, ‘I’m just gonna do it for now on, make sure you look good.’ I’m very lucky that I have a husband who is very into it. He makes all my costumes, and he does my hair and my makeup,” Winter says.
“Drag was a big thing in the 1800s. It was also happening in the ‘20s, the ‘30s, the ‘40s, and the Jewel Box really hit its stride as a drag club for straight people. It was kind of the predecessor to Hamburger Mary’s that happened in the 1950s and ‘60s,” McCrite says. “It moved to another place in the ‘70s, and Melinda performed there. So, Melinda is the link between the old drag—like from the ‘50s and ‘60s—to the current drag; She’s a link between both worlds.”
Melinda won Miss Gay Missouri 1979, Miss Gay Kansas City America 1982, Miss Gay Missouri America 1984, and 2nd Alternate to Miss Gay America 1985. She has dominated the local drag scene since the late ‘70s; It’s hard to find someone who can say the same.
When Ryder first graced the stage in drag, it was a politically charged time in history. The Stonewall riots had occurred six years prior, and acted as a shift in queer history, as activism became more prevalent and set the stage for decades of social and legal change.
Yet, somehow, despite decades of success for the queer community, performing in drag today is more political than ever. As we begrudgingly enter the second era of this administration, the weight of the change in how society treats drag artists around the nation is being felt on a huge scale. Despite not thinking of herself as political, her career is consistently rooted in pushing for the betterment of all.
“When AIDS hit, I remember she would go and raise funds. The drag queens in Kansas City were raising funds for the Good Samaritan Project. I remember drag queens were… very powerful in the AIDS movement and bringing awareness to safer sex,” McCrite says.
Today, you’ll find Winter raising funds for a variety of causes. Winter and Nelson host charity drag bingo every Thursday at Hamburger Mary’s, and each week they work to raise money for a different organization. According to McCrite, Hamburger Mary’s has raised over $8 million for the causes they’ve supported.
As his exhibit is up and running, and his work on his documentary is winding down, he still has a lot to look forward to. Currently, Melinda is working on her one-woman show titled “Melinda Ryder; Still Here,” as well as preparing for her role as Grand Marshal for Kansas City Pride, taking place the first weekend of June.
Fifty years ago, Bruce Winter introduced the world to a figure that could never be replicated—Melinda Ryder. Today, she’s still performing. Her mark on Kansas City? Eternal.